When it comes to making decisions, don’t do today what you can put off until tomorrow.
Move forward and see the options… be aggressive, do not dilly dally, but keep your options open as long as you can. You never know what new opportunities lie around the corner so there is no reason to lock yourself in prematurely.
Once the decision is made, move forward definitively. See the job. Do the job.
I was asked the following:
Please write more about fear, how to have a relationship with such a crippling thing, how to conquer that negative looping, how to dispel how tightly it remains in the tissues and brain and the Transcendent safety net? Thank you.
To which I respond:
Just keep moving. People who feel crippled by fear do so because they have the habit of crumbling down into fetal position. It is as if they need a rock to hide under. In other words, they have the habit of giving in to fear. It is like a cramp in a muscle. It takes over the muscle. The muscle lives with the cramp. If you never work out the cramp, fascia infiltrates. The cramp fibroses in and becomes the standard state of the muscle. What is the solution? Move! Work out the cramp.
Was it Churchill that said if you find yourself in hell, just keep moving? In the case of fear, if you keep moving forward with your life you will move out of that hell and you will see that you are more resourceful and more supported by nature than you could ever imagine. Things do have a way of working themselves out, but you must give yourself, your life, a chance to do so. As you do move forward, you see this, and you thereby become increasingly confident… increasingly self-reliant, increasingly understanding that, indeed, nature does support.
Fear is not crippling unless you give yourself over to it. And that is far more common than you may think. Interestingly enough, those who have inherited some money often fall victim to this. They see the money as what protects them in life. As a result, they never find themselves in a position where they need to face life in spite of their fears. They hide beneath the rock of their money. This only reinforces underlying fear. They feel that if they do not hold on to the money, the worst will happen. They do not take in full breaths of life.
Please note that fear does not exist in the transcendental safety net. The Transcendent is free of fear. If you perceive fear when you look toward the transcendent, it is only because the depth of your being is shrouded by surface fear.
I could and have said many things about fear, such as once you are established in the Transcendent, you know the place inside that is free of fear. However, for now, this is enough. The bottom line today is MOVE FORWARD with your life. Your inner strength is like a muscle. You must use it for it to become strong. Hide away from life out of fear and you become inwardly weak and fear overtakes you.
Time is slipping away. As Frank M says, “Don’t be afraid to be great. The biggest fear you should have is not living up to your full potential.” You are far more resourceful, intelligent, and wise than you give yourself credit for. Boldly move forward in the direction of greatness and you will do far more than just overcome fear. You will become great.
Spheres of Influence is a common model regarding relationships. Imagine some concentric circles with you in the center. The inner most sphere of influence would include your spouse or immediate family, and perhaps your closest friends. Furthest out in the circle would be a total stranger. Somewhere in-between, you might find business associates.
You behave differently with people in different spheres of influence. How you behave with your immediate family is very different from how you behave in public. This is a good thing. It’s socially and culturally appropriate. You can, of course, misbehave in any sphere of influence, but that is a different topic. You would do well to observe how you shift as you move from one sphere of influence to another. Behavior in each sphere of influence is an art unto itself.
Relationships can quite appropriately move from one sphere of influence to another. Not only from outer to inner, but also from inner to outer. People often have a hard time with that, particularly when it involves moving from inner to outer. It is important to keep in mind that such moves do not necessarily imply a loss of friendship, caring, or commitment. It is more a matter of respect for the ever-evolving and changing times. For example, a relationship may for some reason become strained. Striving to maintain the current sphere of influence in those circumstances could create additional strain in the relationship. It can be most respectful and honoring to, at those times, smoothly shift that relationship to an outer sphere, if for no other reason than to give the relationship time to heal. Changing the sphere of influence can significantly change the nature and tone of the relationship.
I’ve noticed with respect to my own daughters, that as they grow up, the relationship shifts. That could be viewed as a shift from the inner sphere of the relationship. As they get older, they need and deserve more autonomy. It is fascinating how spontaneously that occurs. It’s clearly innate. To hold it properly is an art and a beautiful thing. The term respect comes to mind.
Generally “management” is thought of as a business term. People manage companies. In reality, management is everything, and it starts with the self. Do you want to be happy? Learn to manage yourself. Manage your behavior. Be attentive to how you interact with people.
My children are very much concerned about the grades they get in school. I encourage that, but I also have told them that how they manage their relationship with other people will determine the success of their lives far more than anything else, including the grades they get in school.
So, what is the key to managing your relationship with other people?
First and foremost, learn to manage yourself. All too often, people look outside themselves for what is wrong with the world. They long for a place free of people who behave improperly. That’s called delusional. It’s not about getting rid of everybody that bothers you. It’s about managing them. How do you manage your relationship with such people? And, needless to say, you can’t possibly manage your relationship with other people properly if you cannot manage yourself.
Everything in life is about management. Take a little time to view every single area of your life as a management issue. At the same time, you must understand that Nature manages existence. There is a natural-ness to it. So, properly managing yourself and others is not a computerized science. It’s an art that allows everything to breathe.
To manage is to understand, and then act accordingly.
Why is it so important to you that you are right? Is your sense of self worth so limited?
It is imperative that you know your greatness extends far beyond simply getting this and that right. The quiet one, voicing no opinion either way, carries the beacon light of wisdom.
The best of who and what you are is a silent witness to all that is.
With Saturn and Rahu converging on one another this month, conflicts are on the rise. So it is a good time to take a step back, take a breath, and reflect on any conflicts in your life.
Conflict between friends and associates almost always boils down to one thing: fatigue. Situations arise when it just seems to take too much energy, too much effort, to completely explain your position in a sincere, constructive and open manner. As a result, you shoot out half-baked comments or reactions that hurt others. Ironically, to deal with the damage that is done usually requires many multiples of the energy that would have been required to handle it properly in the first place.
In those cases a simple, “Hey, I am sorry this conflict happened. I would very much like us to get past this.” is usually all that it takes to open the door to healing. Yet most often the amount of energy spent to get to that point is, again, multiples of what would have been required to handle the situation properly in the first place.
People usually really do understand more than they are given credit for. Taking the high road with such a simple offering means a great deal, gains the respect of others, and sends a noble message. If they can verbally acknowledge it or not, they will hear it, appreciate it and respect you for it.
Try it out. You long to be great. Such greatness is easier than you may think.
I was asked the following question:
When and how can I lose the fear of death? Lately, the thought that death may be “the end,” and not the beginning of a different awareness or a new lifetime has repeatedly surfaced in my mind, bringing a moment of fear or even terror. Does it take full enlightenment to truly rest into the knowing that life continues after death?
To which I reply:
As one awakens to the transcendental reality of their being, one comes to sense more and more clearly that they are not the body… and what they truly are is eternal. The fear of death then subsides. Others may cling to the notion of eternal life and find some limited relief of the fear in that manner.
However, there is often some misunderstanding around this. When it is said that the enlightened have no fear, it is in reference to the depth of their being, to which they are fully awake… that level is fearlessness.
However, on the personality level, fear is normal and natural. Though not commonly understood, the full range of human emotions exists on the personality level for the enlightened. However, they are simultaneously awake to what lies deeper. The kite of life then has a tail. Without that tail, people spin in fear as well as all the other emotions. They then cling to beliefs, faith, philosophies, etc. for stability and strength. I compare that to floating on the ocean of being with an rubber duck to keep you afloat. Once enlightened, you know how to swim. The rubber ducks then may still have their charm, but are no longer clung to for security, self esteem, etc.
For the time being, meditate to awaken more and more fully to the Self. Also, a rubber duck is fine. Belief, faith, philosophy, trust in God, etc. then serve a purpose, though they are like training wheels on a bicycle. In time, they are no longer needed for yourself… because you Know the Truth of life by direct experience. You may use the rubber ducks however, to assist others along their path.
When Asked About Changing One’s Name, I Responded:
At times it can be wise to change ones name or title. However, it is more often wise for a person to change their circumstances and evolve their relationship with life. Yet those things are more challenging and more rare. A desire to change one’s name is often the expression of, and an attempted substitution for, a deeper longing to change one’s life… to change one’s circumstances and to evolve.
Karma is usually seen as something that affects a person from outside one’s self. It is often seen as something foreign, intangible, and abstract. Actually, it is usually far more accessible than that. It is easily seen from the outside. Yet from within it… within one’s self, it is difficult to see past.
One’s karma includes one’s relationship with life. The longings, convictions, and beliefs one holds are more often karmic than not (i.e. than dharmic).
Life’s greatest challenges are usually in moving past such karma. However, one’s karma convinces the individual that one’s greatest challenges are in fulfilling those longings, convictions, and beliefs dictated by one’s karma.
In other words, though the deepest longing of the dreamer is to awaken from the dream, it is the illusions of the dream that possess the dreamer. This is karma.
Sounds easy enough, doesn’t it? Just rest into your Self. Isn’t that what everyone wants? Inner peace, inner contentment, satisfaction, fulfillment? But what happens when you do that? What happens inside of you?
You see, most of life is lived as a distraction, an escape. By keeping your attention on the surface, the depth is avoided. Now why would someone want to avoid that? Well you see, there are inner issues… stresses and strains, emotional tensions, inner turmoil. If you are left to go inside, then those things come up. They are no longer overshadowed by the distractions people create in their lives.
Yet if you were simply willing to live a life that supports resting within the Self, then those issues naturally bubble out. The physiology purifies. Of course the process does not always feel so simple. As those issues you have been avoiding bubble out, you feel them. You experience them. They seem so real.
The ordinary response is to make it stop. I hear the rationalizations all the time, “Oh, I have done enough long mediation” or “Oh, I am a householder, not a monk” or “Oh, I have responsibilities in the world I need to attend to” or “Oh, I need to stay in the ‘real’ world.”
The truth is that people cannot bear what dwells within them, so they look for distractions. Those distractions usually come in the form of idealized notions (mirages) they long for and relentlessly pursue and fleeting superficial pleasures they consume themselves with. That is called living a lie. What people really long for dwells deep within, beyond the barrier reef of inner issues, stress, and turmoil. But few are willing to do what it takes to free themselves from those things. They prefer to try to bury it all under the rug of distractions. Then they look back at their lives and wonder why they are not happy and fulfilled.
I remember all those years when I was in the ashram. The Master would just have us do our meditations and routine with very little, and for long periods of time no, attention given to us. We felt abandoned or brushed aside. Only after some time did I come to understand what he was doing.
People are like seething, bubbling buckets of emotional issues. They spend their lives trying to avoid those issues. In the ashram, the Master just takes that bucket, sets it in the corner and (with the catalyst of meditation and a supportive daily routine) allows it to calm down naturally. It was only after some time that I realized he was watching very carefully. Allowing the pot to bubble, but giving it a stir at just the right moments and in just the right way. This was all done so seamlessly in accord with nature, our nature, that it was not generally recognized.
Getting overly caught up in the turmoil of inner issues just fans the flame. The balance of personal process and physiological purification is essential. Also, the distractions must not overtake the individual. When they do, the rationalizations emerge and the individual finds the ‘reasons’ to throw in the towel, give up, and return to a life of distractions. Very few are willing to stay the course, the journey of the true hero.
Now do not misunderstand me. Relative life is wonderful and important. But it must be built upon the transcendental fullness of your own being, not an inner landfill of emotional issues caramelized with rationalizations. You must live a life that supports the process of inner awakening to that which dwells deep within. I offer that to you. The degree to which you receive or reject it, is your choice alone.
“Speak in anger and you’ll give the greatest speech you’ll ever regret.” – Anonymous
The Truth about Religion and Flatlining
