Tradition in life is a supportive thing.  It gives time tested direction and parameters to life.  It is the means through which cultures culture the individuals within society.

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Yet like all things, tradition has it’s pros and cons.  For example, I have seen many couples try to force their relationship to conform to strictly traditional patterns.  Interestingly enough, I have noticed that those who have succeeded in doing so are sometimes resented.  I think the reason for that is two-fold.

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Firstly, some who may have on the surface rejected the limitations imposed by tradition at the same time hold those values deeper within, ingrained from childhood.   From that place of inner conditioning, ‘successful’ relationships act as a barometer – a glaring example of how they have fallen short of the ideal.

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Secondly, there is a sense that the uniqueness of the individuals in such a strictly traditional relationship has been compromised, stifled, and limited.

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This certainly creates a slippery slope.  When does conformity to tradition feed life?  When does it limit?  When does breaking away from such guidelines support or limit.  These are not easy questions to answer.  As with all things, a wise response requires reflection, inner exploration, self honesty, etc.

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Couples would do well to hold their relationship up to the light of both possibilities.  How does strict tradition feed their relationship; how does it limit?  It is a matter of discovering your true natures, and your relationship of that with cultural values.  It is not black and white.  It is not a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ to society’s norms.  Rebelliousness, impulsiveness, fear, self judgment, resentment, etc. are all obstacles to such exploration. They are aspects that too would require exploration.

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All this does not just apply to spousal relationships.  It applies to your relationship with everything: God, your children, friends, relatives, your job, your health, on and on. For example, Ananda Maya Ma diverged from her cultural norms to be a woman spiritual leader in a society where only men were permitted that status.

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I am not encouraging rebellion here.  Nor am I encouraging a blind allegiance to a belief system.  As in all of life, truth dwells within you.  I offer this as an invitation to wisely and carefully explore the world you have created for yourself. Let it serve as a catalyst to the facilitation of your own evolution and happiness, and through you, the expansion of happiness of your spouse, loved ones, and the entire world.

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It all begins with you.

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