Human evolution, maturity, is about the integration of thoughts, emotion, and soul. Success in this arena is very much a physiological state. When the heart and mind do not function in unison, life becomes a mess. The mind may get triggered by a notion or occurrence. The individual, if not well integrated, spins out. It’s like an instinctual knee-jerk reaction over which that person has no control. For some, this happens in a moment and it passes quickly. A minimal degree of emotional incontinence such as this is normal and understandable. After all, we are all human.
However, some people seem to be in a permanent state of emotional incontinence. Once an experience triggers an emotional upheaval, they are unable to get past it. Their emotional bias is never ending, intense, and overrides any level of rational thought. The mind then is used as a tool to justify the emotionally incontinent state.
So, how do you overcome emotional incontinence? Of course, number one is proper meditation. Through proper meditation the physiology normalizes (integrates).
Secondly, personal process is important, which is why I developed the whole field of Transgradient Counseling™. All personal process is not integrative. Some forms of personal process even breaks down integration, offering nothing more than a belief system or justification to cling to.
Number three, is cultivating a healthy second response. After the initial spasm of emotional incontinence, you can learn to take a step back and reevaluate, question your perspective, and explore how it may be improved upon.
Lastly, in my lectures and classes, I offer an understanding of life that helps people wisely navigate the ocean of life. It is invaluable to get some understanding of what you’re doing and how you’re functioning in a context of how life works and what it actually is.