Human evolution, maturity, is about the integration of thoughts, emotion, and soul. Success in this arena is very much a physiological state. When the heart and mind do not function in unison, life becomes a mess. The mind may get triggered by a notion or occurrence. The individual, if not well integrated, spins out. It’s like an instinctual knee-jerk reaction over which that person has no control. For some, this happens in a moment and it passes quickly. A minimal degree of emotional incontinence such as this is normal and understandable. After all, we are all human.
However, some people seem to be in a permanent state of emotional incontinence. Once an experience triggers an emotional upheaval, they are unable to get past it. Their emotional bias is never ending, intense, and overrides any level of rational thought. The mind then is used as a tool to justify the emotionally incontinent state.
So, how do you overcome emotional incontinence? Of course, number one is proper meditation. Through proper meditation the physiology normalizes (integrates).
Secondly, personal process is important, which is why I developed the whole field of Transgradient Counseling™. All personal process is not integrative. Some forms of personal process even breaks down integration, offering nothing more than a belief system or justification to cling to.
Number three, is cultivating a healthy second response. After the initial spasm of emotional incontinence, you can learn to take a step back and reevaluate, question your perspective, and explore how it may be improved upon.
Lastly, in my lectures and classes, I offer an understanding of life that helps people wisely navigate the ocean of life. It is invaluable to get some understanding of what you’re doing and how you’re functioning in a context of how life works and what it actually is.
Love this!!
Great title for this concept. Funny! Yet, of course serious and so true. Transgradient counseling is revolutionary and has helped me a ton in my personal life.
Your recommendations are invaluable. They can really change people’s lives forever and certainly changed mine.
Also, thanks to Tanja for the fitting picture. It totally underscores the message in the blog of what “Emotional Incontinence” looks and feels like.
It seems like most people create their own suffering i.e.: emotional incontinence and then they look around for someone to blame for it. That way they never have to look at themselves and consequently they never learn-but just continue to suffer. That’s why, for me, your last sentence sums it up. “It is invaluable to get some understanding of what your doing and how your functioning in a context of how life works and what it actually is.” If people knew how the knowledge you bring out could stop the pain they would be breaking down the doors to get to hear you.
I love both the concept and the image. It captures so exactly the feeling I have when I have tilted out of balance and am literally wobbling all over the place.
I like these terms that are new to me “emotional bias” and “emotional incontinence”. They make me laugh…at myself.
love this!
I love this blog! The pieces of puzzles are slowly coming together. Often times people ask: “what should I do?” This blog sums it up.
I think part of the challenge can be that in life there may be very little break between the triggering experiences. So then what can develop is a constant spiral of spinning out emotionally. I think that one of the benefits of the Surya Ram meditation is that it provides – at least briefly, twice a day – two points in which there is a rest or break from both spinning out and triggering experiences.
Perfect timing – again!
Very susinct and full of wisdom!
Thank you
I add to the list…a case of Depends.
We are all human..it is great to be human! The heightened level of awareness that I have been experiencing over the past several years makes it unbelievably wonderful to be human.
I thank you for that directly Brahmarshi
What a great description of how we all act. This blog covers all the bases of human behavior.
What a great blog!