Make failure your ally.
Failure assists in directing your path.
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Playfully entertain the notion that
perfection does not exist in life.
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Delight in the understanding that
life is a never-ending series of failures.
~
Every failure is a stepping stone
leading to a new horizon…
_
”Inner Grit” What It Is and Is Not https://twitter.com/i/broadcasts/1lPJqbnrqOlxb
wow…this seems a bit ridiculous and contrary to accomplishing what is meaningful and important.
Having a “healthy relationship with…failure” makes sense, as much as having a “healthy relationship with…success,” but enshrining failure with the notion of “delight” and embracing that life is a never-ending series of failures almost sounds like the more failures you have, the more successful you are…
I am sure the archer does not feel successful when he misses his mark, neither the baker who bakes a cake that fails to rise nor the software developer who programs software that doesn’t work.
Failure may be a teacher, a guide, but an ally?
Alliances are better served by those who bring strength and wisdom, not failure…
I do understand what you are saying and there is certainly truth to it. At the same time, I sense that your motivation to defy is overriding your motivation to understand. Do not feel alone in that. Many people feel self empowered through defiance. Learning requires humility. Michael
Failure doesn’t have to be every step, but the stepping stone to progress, a better product or task. I’ve been quilting for 25 years and I am with every project learning a better way how not to do something I thought I knew how to do perfectly before. I see it as a catalyst to do it different the next time, not just to perfect a technique, but to perhaps find another solution to complete the technique, or just in the challenge to find anyother way to create. I think with failure “strength and wisdom” grows. Failure leads to ever evolving successes.
Gosh…a little disconnect here I think…Marty, by the way, I agree that failure does lead to success…the archer, baker and software programmer to name just a few, can all testify to this when pointing finally to their success…it is how we all learn to a large extent.
The disconnect for me is in the comment made earlier about defiance as an overriding motivator by “admin…” as this becomes a much different topic all together, than looking at failure by itself.
Defiance assumes authority. It is a very strong word, both of them are, actually – defiance and authority.
My intention was to purely address what was being expressed and explored around the relationship with failure…and how failure doesn’t strike me as, well, ally-worthy. Better to look around for qualities that embody strength and wisdom when creating an alliance.
…not sure if this is the forum for digging into the assumption of authority (and defiance) by “admin” but would certainly invite why, in the exploration, authority is being introduced into the conversation? Is there a need to assume authority? Is divergent thinking or additional thinking on the topic automatically couched as defiance…or just, additional thinking?
Perhaps wisest to rest into the exploration of failure by itself, since this was the topic that launched this blog thread.
…and the juicy follow-up might be a blog on authority…and relationship with…
I do understand what you are saying and there is certainly truth to it. At the same time, I sense that your motivation to defy is overriding your motivation to understand. Do not feel alone in that. Many people feel self empowered through defiance. Learning requires humility. Michael
Trey, perhaps I misunderstood your feeling of failure as a catalyst for a teaching tool, in my quilting example which was very simplistic. Again simplistic view: my “relationship with” failure personally, in my life exeriences and conditioning, and with Michael’s teachings has been to use failure as a catalyst/or ally as opposed to defeat/failure. When you seek a person who embodies the strength and wisdom you desire as an ally, I would bet that individual would tell you the many failures he/she had to get where they are today, and to use failure/mistakes as an ally/tool (though ally might not be the word choice).
I’m curious: in the bandwidth where success/failure resides who gets to apply the label? The big ‘I’, the little ‘i’, the big ‘YOU’, the little ‘you’…or perhaps ‘someone/something’ else?
Another Perspective-
Trey – Perhaps it is as much in the way your statements are made as it is in any real confusion around the subject. “…seems a bit ridiculous and contrary to accomplishing what is meaningful and important.” I imagine you understand the point that a healthy relationship with failure leads to ever greater levels of success, in both the task at hand, and in developing a healthier and more mature relationship with all of life (which may be even more “meaningful and important” then accomplishing a task).
Given the tone of these responses it is hard to see that they were just “to purely address what was being expressed and explored” or just “additional thinking.”
Also, your line of logic regarding defiance and authority would imply that Michael is not an authority on these topics. Isn’t that what he is?
Michael has often lectured about failure and the nature of relative existence. Finding myself “wired” for trying to achieve perfection I always listened closely hoping somehow to integrate his understanding into a more life supporting way of functioning.
About a month ago I found myself in a somewhat catastrophic situation. It was the complete absence of perfection. A mega failure. I was faced with, what felt like in my physiology as, an insurmountable problem. Within less than 5 minutes of sitting with that failure, I switched into intense brainstorming and solution oriented thinking. I was going to figure this problem out and move forward. At the time I thought this was a good thing. Not wasting time. Taking action. Finding a solution.
What I realized about myself was the following. Just like in personal process work when you stumble into a “gold mine” of conditioning you can either defend it or explore it. It never occurred to me to do this with my failures. A month ago I still wouldn’t have understood how one could even begin to make failure an ally. Intellectually maybe. But not experientially.
Being with those awful feelings of failure, and helplessness almost instantly triggers my instinct to defy (openly resist or refuse to obey). I call it finding a solution. What I’ve come to realize is, finding the solution is not the fault, it is the speed at which I switch into that mode as well as the charge I carry around solving the problem.
Ultimately, it’s probably more important for me to sit with and explore what comes up in times of failure (or imperfection) than the speed at which I resolve the problem. It is in those uncomfortable moments (associated with failure/imperfection) that it now makes sense to embrace failure because it offers a gold mine of information into better understanding myself.
I actually thought by overriding the emotions that came up in times of failure was a strength. An asset. A testament to my strong will and how easily I faced up to failure. How ironic to discover it’s the opposite. The reality was I never “faced” failure. I would do whatever I could to annihilate the feelings of failure all in the name of a solution and feeling successful.