treeIt comes down to understanding. We all share the same one humanity. To forgive is to understand is to find within yourself what motivated the behavior of another. Remember that true Oneness means being one with everything, not just the things you approve of. To be one with everything, means to understand everything. Understanding (not over standing) means standing under… Humility is built right into the word. This may not always be easy to do. Some behavior feels so deplorable that you may not even be willing to consider the possibility of finding such motivations within yourself. In such a case, true forgiveness is not possible.

Some think that to forgive, you must forget. That is not correct. In fact, it is not even a good thing to do. You must not forget. You must remember. It takes time to know another’s heart. This is done by remembering how they behave. It does not mandate judgment. But it does provide information. Do not forgive and forget. Forgive and remember. In so doing, you come to know the person better and better. In so doing, your love for them can grow… can become deeper.

It is hurtful to remember a hurtful situation. Some hope the time will come when it no longer hurts. If you think about it, that makes no sense. It is a form of denial. So remembering does not mean reliving the experience. If you burn your hand a bit under hot running water, you remember to not do that again. That is a good thing. But you do not have to relive through recollection all the pain you experienced. The same sort of remembering is important as you come to know another person. It is of course good to keep the door open for them to grow and become a better person, but it is oblivion to forget the past.

This all applies not only in your relationship with others, but also in your relationship with yourself. It is wise to forgive. It is important to remember.

© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.