“Good manners are just the latest casualty in the ongoing collapse of Western civilization.”
Someone sent me this quote from the TV show, Two and a Half Men.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
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We all want peace and harmony. So why is it so elusive? This ancient secret of apurva reveals the solution.
And what we’re trying to do, at Mount Soma, is prevent the further collapse of Western Civilization, and turn it around.
Good manners at home, in the workplace, between parents and children, between parent and parent – between co-workers – It’s amazing how much more respect I have for a courteous person than for one who is trying to boss, manipulate, or bully . . . or impress me with their importance . .
MJN,
You are so correct!! Yet the difficult part is when passions flare… Few are able to then maintain balance. At that point, people go into bossing, manipulation, bullying, impressing, making others wrong or worse, etc. Again I say, it is not about going out of balance, it is about how soon a person can take a step back and get into balance. Ego and money seem to be two of the greatest obstacles to doing so…
Actually, in my experience, our culture teaches the discourteous behaviors as a way of “getting the job done”. It’s after those discourteous behaviors of bossing, manipulation, bullying, etc. are used that passions tend to flare and people go out of balance. If people practice courtesy when working together, all concerned are less apt to go out of balance.
My apologies if I misunderstood your response.
I agree with what you are saying so it does sound like something is misunderstood somewhere.
No worries.
With the current term coined by some, being “politically correct”, has IMHO given many the license to say things my generation would have had their mouths washed out with soap by either parent. Civility, respect, courteousness, humility, among a few ideals I was brought up with have been thrown out the window for what many now say is on their mind, irregardless of who it may harm. As an alcoholic loved one used to say after drinking “I can say exactly how I feel”.
I have, since you taught us almost 21 years ago, tried to practice first 100% responsibility, and secondly 2nd “healthy response” vs the first “unhealthy response”. Both those lessons have helped me heal childhood hurts, in addition to the grandeur of meditation, and will continue to on my lifelong evolutionary journey.
Isn’t one who has gone out of balance in the reclipients eyes, someone who is acting out of two feelings, hurt and feeling inferior to others? I say recipients eyes, because today, many feel that what MJN describes in her comment above, is seen as a model of strength, “a strong person” vs a “snowflake” or weakness.
I will err on the side of “understanding” vs “over standing”, again as you’ve addressed so many times in the past 21 years. Words and actions can not be taken back when expressed from the unhealthy response. But from a transcendental perspective, one may be able to feel the hurt and inferior feeling that’s being expressed or projected and step back and respond from the “healthy second response”. Or, as you’ve taught, not at all, and wait for time to pass and decern whether a response is ever warranted again.
Jai Siva Sankara
What I neglected to comment with your 100% responsibility teaching, is then the “bullier” as MJN for instance described above, would expect the pushback from any recipient. Also, as some do and have done in our work environments, stay silent, and walk away, and vent elsewhere, with no solution to the bulliers leadership skills.
A recipient may lose their job for responding even with respect to a bullier, whereas a bullier does rarely lose their job. It feels with recent public abuse revelations, perhaps that norm is shifting. (Dave – jyotish blog on this?!)
Jai Siva Sankara