When you encounter conflict, it is good to remember that there are three things involved:
1) you
2) the person you are in conflict with, and
3) the conflict itself.
Usually conflict puts you on one side of the fence and the person on the other. You equate the conflict with that person.
Consider another approach: You are on the same side of the fence shoulder to shoulder with the person. The conflict is what is on the other side of the fence. The two of you are on a team striving to overcome the conflict.
Now, of course, usually the person is not looking at it that way. They equate you with the conflict. That is ok. But you need to remember that the conflict has overtaken the person, but in actuality you are both on the same side. Neither wants the conflict. Depending upon the relationship, you may even be able to relate this to the person and work together to overcome the conflict. It is almost like the conflict itself is a third person involved that is dedicated to overtaking you both. It has a mind of its own. It wants to rule you both.
Also remember: Time is the great resolver. The most irresolvable issues are resolved by time. In time, even nations at war become allies. Life, nature, has a rhythm. Find that rhythm and allow it to be. After all, rhythm is timing. Rhythm is nothing other than a healthy relationship with time. There is a cosmic flow to nature. Find that within yourself. Impatience interferes with rhythm… interferes with the cosmic flow. Do not insist upon finding a solution immediately. Forcing the issue interferes with the natural flow. Give things the time and space they need to resolve themselves. The solution will come if you allow it time and space to reveal itself. Give time the opportunity to flow naturally.
Couldn’t have asked for better advice on this day, great blog. impeccable timing also. Thank you..for everything
This is absolutely beautiful.
Wow… so good. I was just reflecting on class and teaching about going with the cosmic flow, patience, not pushing, not forcing. I’ve been getting this message lately when I’ve been in the middle of a conflict (either with someone else or internal) that “things are not as they seem, be patient and let things work out in their time.” I find out sometimes weeks or months later that what I thought was the issue wasn’t at all. Knowing and feeling the rhythm of life, the support of nature, seems to be a major key for me in feeling comfortable and safe in this place. Thank you for class, blogs, your insights. I know even though I only absorb a little at a time, it’s all accumulative, all making a difference.
As Bill Parish (Anthony Hopkins) said in the movie Meet Joe Black, “Things have a way of working themselves out.” I love that simple quote.
I remember hearing the saying “attack the problem, not the person”. This certainly works with people. I wonder if it works with conflicts with organizations, especially bureaucratic governmental entities, which are so policy and rule bound the humans within the organization lack the latitude to act in accord with “natural law”?
Brahmarshi,
I love what you said about being shoulder to shoulder with the other person and that the conflict is really the only one on the other side. Brilliant. So simple and so true.
And also that the conflict itself is almost like a third person that is dedicated to overtaking both people with a mind of its own. It often feels to me like the conflict is dominating my inner dynamic and before I know it the “relationship with” it goes South.
I couldn’t help but think of the Ramayana when I read this blog. Rama’s battle against the demons as a reflection of our inner dynamic/battle against our “demons” within that we project outward…and how it all changes when we shed light on it.
Sage. Recently, in times of conflict, it has felt like there is something of substance present other than the two talking. I have pondered the nature of the word, the thought, creation. How? What? Comes from the angry discourse? As an intersection, points within the unified field what are we doing? We tend to focus on the desired outcome. There is a partially new opening in considering your counsel. My gratitude. Namaste.
Gregg,
This principle is certainly true with all things, including organizations. Yet in such cases as organizations the process is like continuing to lean in a direction as if against a wall until in time, slowly, slowly it begins to move. However, all the while watch for the opportunity to make a great stride forward. Like enlightenment, such changes come gradually-all-of-a-sudden.
This is what we are doing at Mount Soma in our quest to transform/heal world consciousness.
Kathy,
The “substance” you are referring to is called “mind.” Mind is born of two things: Prana (Divine life force) and Karma. From this perspective, when there is no karma, there is no mind. Or you could say that your mind and Divine Mind are then in perfect harmony. That would be to say you are living in harmony with natural law, with Mother Nature, with your own True nature. See?
Prana is born of Oneness, Unity. Karma is born of duality, separation.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Jai Guru Dev
Thank you, another piece of wisdom that will help me on my journey to Mt. Soma.
Brahmarshi,
Thank you so much for this way of viewing conflict. This really helps me! It feels like it helps to detangle my identity with being right. Beautifully conveyed.
Powerful, insightful and reflective. Thank you.
Jai Ram.
Amazing and I am loving it!
Thank you
Thank you. I deal with conflict fairly often. As I read your words they softly settled in and started releasing an area aournd my stomach. I am not looking forward to the next conflict, but am curious as to how the new perspective will allow me to work through the issue. Thank You.
beautifully profound