abstractWhen you encounter conflict, it is good to remember that there are three things involved:

1) you
2) the person you are in conflict with, and
3) the conflict itself.

Usually conflict puts you on one side of the fence and the person on the other.  You equate the conflict with that person.

Consider another approach:  You are on the same side of the fence shoulder to shoulder with the person.  The conflict is what is on the other side of the fence.  The two of you are on a team striving to overcome the conflict.

Now, of course, usually the person is not looking at it that way. They equate you with the conflict. That is ok. But you need to remember that the conflict has overtaken the person, but in actuality you are both on the same side. Neither wants the conflict. Depending upon the relationship, you may even be able to relate this to the person and work together to overcome the conflict. It is almost like the conflict itself is a third person involved that is dedicated to overtaking you both. It has a mind of its own. It wants to rule you both.

Also remember: Time is the great resolver.  The most irresolvable issues are resolved by time.  In time, even nations at war become allies.  Life, nature, has a rhythm.  Find that rhythm and allow it to be.  After all, rhythm is timing.  Rhythm is nothing other than a healthy relationship with time.  There is a cosmic flow to nature.  Find that within yourself.  Impatience interferes with rhythm…  interferes with the cosmic flow.  Do not insist upon finding a solution immediately.  Forcing the issue interferes with the natural flow.  Give things the time and space they need to resolve themselves.  The solution will come if you allow it time and space to reveal itself.  Give time the opportunity to flow naturally.

© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.