The Huffington Post just published one of my latest articles. It begins:
While recently giving a lecture in the San Francisco area, I was asked: “Would you please talk about the need to feel needed? It seems to be a very important, fundamental instinct.”
I responded by first saying it was one of the most beautiful questions I’ve been asked in a long time. I began by telling the story of two beautiful, white, draft horses owned by a friend. The horses were inseparable. Their worlds revolved around one another. They loved each other. When one of them passed away, the other, although perfectly healthy, also died within two weeks. We hear stories of long-term married couples having a similar scenario. So, let’s take a deeper look at what is actually going on here…
“Our Need To Feel Needed… And When It Must Change”
Thank You, something I am experiencing right now, and yes it can take many different forms. I am finding that going in deeper and finding the connection to the universal is what keeps me grounded.
I have been navigating through waters of this need to be needed all my life, my relationship to that need is becoming more healthy. Your article came at a great time when I had just come from a meeting on codependency, transitions and elder care. Thank you!
I believe the void that originates with the loss of a loved one is in the heart. Everyone has a innate desire to have a heart connection. The grief felt there can literally fade the rhythm away.
Is that our only need to be needed? No, some people are wired to take care of others while others or more in need to be taken care of, it’s a mutual symbiosis. Most of the time when we need to be taken care we don’t feel like we are fulfilling the purpose or need of another, but we are. Anyone who has a friend or is in relationship with a realized helper can attest to that, being there for others unconditionally; always willing. God willing…
Thank you for this explanation. It has helped me understand my reluctance to retire. Thank you