Every chain has its weakest link. When the psychology is stressed, aspects of the physiology are stressed, and vice versa. During those times, the psyche crumbles into the weakest link of its chain, which we call the Psychophysiological Addiction.
“Addiction” is the right word. It is a habit. For some people, it’s fear. For others, it may be anger, depression, sadness, feeling hurt, not wanted, not appreciated, not liked, rejected, and so on. You would do well to know your Psychophysiological Addiction. If you’re not sure, in all likelihood, your friends and loved ones can tell you.
The power of its grip is not to be underestimated. During those times, it is your world view. Everything that happens is perceived in a manner that justifies it, that proves it, that confirms its perspective is truth. It is very difficult for a person to see past it. It is an addiction as powerful as an addiction to a drug or any bad habit. Everyone knows how difficult it can be to break a bad habit. It is even more difficult to do so when it is self-justifying.
You have an idea what it takes to break a bad habit. Use those resources to move past your Psychophysiological Addiction. At the same time, don’t judge yourself along the way. Breaking a bad habit is a process. Awareness of your Psychophysiological Addiction is a huge first step well begun, half done. The other half requires tenacity and courage, self-honesty, and humility. In a sense, this is not so much about getting rid of it, as much as it is cultivating a healthy relationship with it which entails first seeing it and then working with it constructively.
Be gentle with yourself, but be tenacious.