Selfless Devotion

My years of commitment to the school and Mount Soma have led me along a most remarkable and unexpected path.

By fully committing myself to my work, attention naturally shifted away from my personality, or what I like to call my samskara self. My identity ceased to be with my individuality. I have been overtaken by a flow that I can only describe as God.

The universe is an unbounded ocean of consciousness in motion. It is a Divine flow. When the individuality melts away, you are left with universality. This is the path of devotion.

Physical representations of God certainly have their value. Emotional enrapturement with God does also. However, a loss of individuality leads to a disappearance of the small self that most identify with.

Devotion culminates in the dissolution of the samskara self (which is sometimes incorrectly referred to as the death of ‘ego’). It culminates in the awakening to the Divine Ego. The Ego does not die. It transforms, becoming infinitely huge, including all that is.

The dissolution of the small self is at times a scary thing. You, at times, feel like you are losing your grip on life. You feel like you are being overtaken by something that at first feels separate from your self. The value system that you have clung to and were brought up with waxes insignificant.

The process is one of all out commitment. You are in with both feet! No holding back. No hedging your bets! No compromising.

I did not think of it in this manner as it happened. I did not view it as a technique that would evolve me. It was not about ‘me’ at all. It was about the throwing away of ‘me’ in the name of a purpose.

Only years into the process did I begin to see where it was leading – to the death of ‘me.’

God takes over everything. You cease to exist. It is as if I am becoming invisible – a virtual imagine. It feels like I am no longer really ‘here.’

Yet it is not selfless… not really. Really, the old self is constructed of samskaras… conditioning… programming. That just melts away to leave you with what lies deeper.

The true Self… God.