1. Why am I going to sleep on meditation?
There are many forms of meditation. Assuming you are doing what I consider to be a proper meditation, sleep coming in meditation is actually a good thing. Some people think meditation is done for the experiences you may have in meditation. That is actually not correct. Meditation is done to purify the physiology from stresses and strains. When the physiology is purifying at a rapid rate, sleep comes. That is a good thing. You are purifying a great deal!
2. When self-realization is the way life should be, why is it not not? Why the fear of next?
It is the stresses and strains in the nervous system that prevent self-realization. Chronic fear is one possible symptom of stresses and strains in the nervous system.
3. When I realized that the tree outside my office building and me are same, Why can’t I stay in that state permanently? It’s just happened to be a wonderful view outside the wall and then I was pulled back to the thought process again…
The stresses and strains can be compared to a herd of elephants. When they are all asleep, you can have glimpses of higher states of consciousness. But they are usually awake.