It can, at times, be good to say the following:
“I know better than this and would not actually act on it, but do want you to know how I am feeling inside.”
Then say what it is you are feeling, while fully acknowledging that it is just coming from a hurt place within that needs to be voiced, vented, let out.
It is not to be said as an attack but as a humble, vulnerable, and respectful sharing of the hurt that is going on within you.
Lovely. It took some time for me to learn this, and I admit that I am not 100% successful at remembering to do it, but when I do remember, I find it makes such a difference. It is a sort of self-soothing mechanism, and it works even when the conversation is just with myself. As far as my relationship with everyone and everything else, this is a game changer. Thank you.
Thank you for such timely advice. There’s such a fine line between sharing and venting. It seems like an art.
Such an important step in learning how to work through our conditioning and feeling less tied to the past. Thank you for these blogs that change our perspective, on life, and bring us closer to understanding who we really are.
This is beautiful and very practical.
I love this. So helpful!
Thanks. The first phrase I see is Communicating with regard for myself and 2nd phrase is a graceful way of sharing my feelings with others I will practice this.
A total of about 20 words and 10 seconds to say them. Imagine all the personal and relationship angst that could have been avoided. And the words are so soft and sweet. I think of all the times I might have used them….with just a little extra courage.
Thank you for this important reminder!
Thanks for these words. I am struggling with my daughter’s recent separation anxiety when I leave her at school and somehow this blog helped.
I really like the idea of this although the opportunity doesn’t usually happen in “real-time” for me. I realized after a visit from a family member, that I’m not in touch with my feelings around her. I guess I’ve already learned from experience that it isn’t safe to be emotionally vulnerable around my family. It is a huge impediment to being able to express myself at all, let alone express something really tender. However, I’m lucky to have a spouse who understands me and will listen to my feelings when they do arrive at a later point, but I’m not sure it accomplishes the same thing therapeutically.
What a great phrase to use. I wish I knew it as I was raising my children. Oh well, it’s never too late. It will be very useful in many, many situations.
Great Blog…seems like that would decrease both inner turmoil and outer bad behavior!
Great blog. The hardest part is talking from that vulnerable hurt place inside. However when done, it is so worth it.
…being vulnerable takes courage…i need to work on this…
Thank you. So helpful. Came at the right time.