First use your heart to determine what you want to say. Then use your mind to determine the best way of saying it.
Doing the opposite is a terrible betrayal, tying both your heart and your mind into self-compromising knots.
Before you speak, first feel into what your soul really would like to share. Then take enough time to find the way to say it.
Beautiful!
Very Beautiful!! Thank you!
Jai Guru Dev
Speaking from the heart often seems to me like an invitation for pointless confrontation. People demand that other people collude with them through tactics of emotional manipulation. So then I feel like it opens me up to having my sincere feelings/opinions attacked for no worthwhile reason.
On the other hand of the double-edged sword…not expressing my feelings allows people to steamroll me and keeps them from becoming aware of that behavior. So, ultimately not speaking from the heart does not serve anyone but it remains challenging for me.
Maybe I am still doing sentence number three, still feeling into my soul… I wonder how long that will take… in the mean time i think i am also tying my self into knots like sentence number two.. Wow this is NOT easy.
Todd
Speaking from your heart includes feeling into the person/people you are speaking to and getting a sense of what they would respond well to. It is very much about their feelings as well as yours. You can do this. It is more a matter of timing. Giving yourself even a few moments to reflect and feel before you speak… however long it takes. A few moments can make a huge difference here. You see me do this often when I work with people in class. Feeling you must say something right away is the culprit here. Take the time you need to formulate the words. Again it is not about thinking of what you should say. It is about feeling into the whole situation. If you do that, the words will come naturally. But do say something. Procrastination and proper timing are not the same thing.
Someone responded to my above comment saying that sometimes you are not given the time to reflect.
That is true, however if the situation is salvageable, it is my experience that the person will come back to you in time in one way or another, seeking your response. If the door is shut, it is shut. At least for the time being. In that case, rest with the knowing that deep inside everyone sees deeply into things, even if they are not currently willing to admit it to themselves.
Some of the most precious time spent with you is sitting in the silence of reflection.
These writings are really priceless. So simple, so compact, using the law of three brilliant. Now comes the list of reasons/excuses why I have not been able to consistently embody what has been said. The annoying elephant in the room, the students eternal ‘BUT’
I believe when the heart is hurt or broken the mind steps up to protect the heart until the heart is able to engage or try again. The door being shut. Then we find someone who wakes up our heart opens the door just enough to get it communicating again and then it comes back online for a time but in a fragile state so the next disappointment or slight rejection causes the mind to take back over… all hearts yearn for connection with other hearts and this requires understanding why does the mind continually let us down in it’s inability to communicate the hearts yearnings? Yes, our own lack if control over the mind and the mind heart connection. It seems the mind needs to be told to stop protecting in order for the other to feel the openness of our heart
I am sure this is not how it actually works, maybe you can discuss the mechanics of this. Getting from A to B. A being where people are and B being the goal.
I’ve been working on it with more awareness for some time.
When I feel I connect, it’s good. When I replay an exchange or conversation in my mind afterwards, and would like to have connected more, I sometimes go back to the person with an ‘oh, by the way, when we were talking earlier…’. Good things have come from that.
This is inspriging. I have also sensed that often some sense of understanding exists w/o a word being spoken, which seems to be far better than speaking too soon and getting one or both of us tied up in knots with words around unclear feelings.
I never want to give up hope on people and our ability to commune-icate w/ each other.
Human beings are incredibly vulnerable creatures. The subtleties abound. Even the word ‘wanting’ can take on very different meanings and have very different effects on others depending upon the motivation. For example, wanting to connect can be motivated by an emptiness inside that is best filled from within ones self as opposed to asking others to fill it for you. Of course, due to the incredible vulnerability, the motivation is often cloaked in a palatable justification. However, the true motivation is known by all through the feeling which silently speaks much louder than the rationalization or the words used.
Feeling is done through the heart. Getting in touch with what you truly feel deep inside and giving wise expression to what best serves the situation is a profound art. It is an ongoing process. Nothing is ever said perfectly. As the wise saint said, ‘Do not look for perfection in the relative. It does not exist.” Of course, the opposite is also true. Paradox is life.
This blog post really effected me. As all who know me, I am a very emotional person and I think, with that self awareness (and some shame that I operate this way), my pendulum swung to try to overcompensate my speech and writing from my head. Also at this time, I feel I am making a conscious effort to block my feelings and my hurting heart so I can function day to day. Thank you for helping me to examine this. Jai Guru Dev.
Thank you Maharshi for your presence in our lives.
Your deepest ad truest feelings can not be experienced during a storm of the emotions. The finest feeling level is a most sublime thing.,, a gentle whisper.