Certainly, there are aspects of life that are private. It is appropriate to keep them to yourself. However, it is important to know the difference between these things and what I will call humiliation secrets. Humiliation secrets involve aspects of your inner world that you have a charge or shame around. They include false prides, self-judgments, and fear of judgments from others if they knew. Such things create an inner world that you protect and, consciously or unconsciously, keep hidden from the view of others. If they were seen or known by others, you would feel humiliated.
Before I proceed, let me make it clear that I am not saying these aspects of yourself should be shared with the world as some sort of self improvement technique. Absolutely not. Some things are best kept to yourself, in the name of dignity if nothing else! These days, some are all too willing to compromise their dignity in the name of openness. That is not what I am talking about here.
What I am speaking of is your relationship with your inner world, your inner secrets about yourself. If your relationship with such things is not healthy, you create a contorted, tense, in the shadows, underworld within. That is not healthy. You can rationalize a justification to keep these things private. In fact, those justifications may well be valid. However, I say again, I am speaking here of your relationship with those hidden aspects of your inner world… the ‘charge’ you may have around them. Those inner tensions are self-damaging. With them, you turn much of your energy against yourself. It is exhausting and destructive. Such inner tensions preclude being at peace with yourself. Furthermore, others sense those tensions within you. That elicits feelings of dislike, mistrust, judgment, aversion, and fear toward you.
To heal those inner channels of the heart and mind you would do well to take a look at them… explore them within yourself. Inner peace means arriving at the point where you realize that you are fine. You are fine. In fact, you are better than fine. You are Divine. It is your relationship with self that can be a problem. The self is always fine.
If you find yourself tiptoeing through life for fear of your humiliation secrets being glimpsed by others (or faced by yourself), take heed of what I say here. Doing so does not necessarily mean sharing those things with others. Again, that may be inappropriate and undignified. However, you would do well to find within yourself the state of rest and inner peace… the place where you feel fine within yourself.
In the final analysis, you really have nothing to hide. Certainly not in the sense I am speaking here. You are fine. You are fine. Only your relationship with your inner world can create tensions within that inner world. They are like knots within. To be physically and mentally healthy, those knots need to unravel. That goes beyond self-acceptance of those knots, and requires moving past the humiliation secret that holds them tightly in place.
We all share the same one humanity. Really, there are no secrets. The Guru sees and is at peace with all of you because the Guru knows and is at peace with all of himself. To become wise, is to find that within yourself. It is called inner contentment.
Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti
I always thought embarrassment was a funny kind of emotion. I guess it is in our nature inherently. Humiliation is kin to humility, but can we be too humble haha? I tend to think of the saints when they would fly up in rapture and would become embarrassed by doing so. They were showing such a deep aspect of themselves by allowing that spiritual momentum to propel them that they were almost ashamed to show it.
Beautiful, thank you.
Privacy, Humility, Humiliation, Shy… each must be understood… just as all things must be under-stood, to be appreciated. The subtle distinctions and hues must not be blurred together, lest we misunderstand the meanings.
So awesomely, profoundly and beautifully said!
Very Healing, Thank you.
Thank you, Brahmarshi…just what I needed to hear. Sometimes I feel as if you can hear my thoughts.
Sarah,
Very good to hear from you. But when I listen to your thoughts, I hear you at times longing to return. Yet it is good where you are, so enjoy.
Thank you, dear Brahmarshi. Yes…I have so many times felt not only my longing to return, but my need to return. I feel lost at times, as if I am unable to be “out here” anymore. I tend to feel like I’m still spinning my wheels, though I’m reasonably sure that I’m working out some karma here!
Thank you for helping me to remember to smile…
I hope thats in a future class or blog you will relate more about the nuances of privacy, humility, humiliation and shyness. Also, perhaps discussing how to treat oneself with respect internally while at the same time, feeling humiliated around something. Thank you for the gentle delicate blog.