It has been said that there is no stronger force in the universe than a mother’s love for her children.
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Certainly we all have aspirations for our children. Understandably, those aspirations are an expression of our own relationship with life and the world. My life has not been exempt from that. I recall as a young man, the difficulty my parents had with my decision to pursue a spiritual life. Their well-intended world view revolved around more traditional and money oriented pursuits. Their idea was to get a college education, get a good job/profession, get a house, a wife, kids, and live a traditional life until death.
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The only problem was that was their calling, not mine. I was compelled to follow a spiritual path. Interestingly enough, that direction, for me, ultimately lead to a rather traditional lifestyle in many regards. My wife and I have two lovely children, a nice home, and a traditional lifestyle, while embracing and living true to our own inner truths.
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As opposed to attempting to overly control our family member’s lives on the surface, we would do better to look to the depth. Who are they? How true do they live to laudable core values? Raising children is no easy thing. As a parent, I too am extremely committed to doing right by my children. I have deep concern that as they grow, their lives will be good and healthy.
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If one of my children chose a spiritual path, I would have many reservations. Cults certainly do exist and are most worrisome in this regard. I would want to know, beyond question, that my child was not going to be indoctrinated into such thinking. If my child chose a spiritual path, I would make it my business to look into the teaching they were following.
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There have been a number of individuals that, upon discovering that their spouse had interest in my teachings, took the time to personally explore them also. I have a great deal of respect for that. Such an approach brings the family members closer together enabling them to evaluate things as a team.
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In contrast, an immediate knee jerk reaction of opposition only divides the family. I am sorry to say that is what happened in my family, when as a young man, I chose the spiritual path. The years have proven that those concerns and that reaction were unfounded and damaging to our family unit.
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I’ve noticed that sometimes when a family member chooses to go on a spiritual path, their relatives think of it as a life commitment. The truth is, more often than not, it’s a life-enriching sabbatical. Life’s journey is not a straight line. You move in one direction for a period of time and then shift. Yet life is constructed of that series of shifts. We would do well to reflectively support a family member in the building of his or her own life.
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Love is not always an easy thing. It becomes entwined with our own personal fears, biases, and limitations. To deal with all that can be most demanding of time and energy. Yet is has been said that if you do not have the time to do something properly, where are you going to find the time to go back and correct the results of a poor approach?
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I encourage you to take the time to do your very best. I pray that I too will devote myself sufficiently to raising my children wisely, as they grow into independent adulthood. Like love, life is not always easy. May we all do our best to approach it wisely.
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Ultimately, perhaps the best we can do for our children is to model nobility and wisdom within our own behavior.
I remember that when I first learned of Brahmarshi and his teachings, I had an irrational fear that someday my son would want to go to a far off place to study in an ashram. All I could feel was my own fear and loneliness at this hypothetical event. I can only hope that when he grows up and follows his dreams that I will not burden him with my own fears and limitations. I continue to strive to live from that place where there is no fear and are no limitations.