by Michael Mamas | Friday, September 20, 2013 | Personal Growth, Relationship |
Spheres of Influence is a common model regarding relationships. Imagine some concentric circles with you in the center. The inner most sphere of influence would include your spouse or immediate family, and perhaps your closest friends. Furthest out in the circle would be a total stranger. Somewhere in-between, you might find business associates.
You behave differently with people in different spheres of influence. How you behave with your immediate family is very different from how you behave in public. This is a good thing. It’s socially and culturally appropriate. You can, of course, misbehave in any sphere of influence, but that is a different topic. You would do well to observe how you shift as you move from one sphere of influence to another. Behavior in each sphere of influence is an art unto itself.
Relationships can quite appropriately move from one sphere of influence to another. Not only from outer to inner, but also from inner to outer. People often have a hard time with that, particularly when it involves moving from inner to outer. It is important to keep in mind that such moves do not necessarily imply a loss of friendship, caring, or commitment. It is more a matter of respect for the ever-evolving and changing times. For example, a relationship may for some reason become strained. Striving to maintain the current sphere of influence in those circumstances could create additional strain in the relationship. It can be most respectful and honoring to, at those times, smoothly shift that relationship to an outer sphere, if for no other reason than to give the relationship time to heal. Changing the sphere of influence can significantly change the nature and tone of the relationship.
I’ve noticed with respect to my own daughters, that as they grow up, the relationship shifts. That could be viewed as a shift from the inner sphere of the relationship. As they get older, they need and deserve more autonomy. It is fascinating how spontaneously that occurs. It’s clearly innate. To hold it properly is an art and a beautiful thing. The term respect comes to mind.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Tuesday, September 17, 2013 | Personal Growth |
Generally “management” is thought of as a business term. People manage companies. In reality, management is everything, and it starts with the self. Do you want to be happy? Learn to manage yourself. Manage your behavior. Be attentive to how you interact with people.
My children are very much concerned about the grades they get in school. I encourage that, but I also have told them that how they manage their relationship with other people will determine the success of their lives far more than anything else, including the grades they get in school.
So, what is the key to managing your relationship with other people?
First and foremost, learn to manage yourself. All too often, people look outside themselves for what is wrong with the world. They long for a place free of people who behave improperly. That’s called delusional. It’s not about getting rid of everybody that bothers you. It’s about managing them. How do you manage your relationship with such people? And, needless to say, you can’t possibly manage your relationship with other people properly if you cannot manage yourself.
Everything in life is about management. Take a little time to view every single area of your life as a management issue. At the same time, you must understand that Nature manages existence. There is a natural-ness to it. So, properly managing yourself and others is not a computerized science. It’s an art that allows everything to breathe.
To manage is to understand, and then act accordingly.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Wednesday, September 11, 2013 | Spirituality |
When I had my practice in Florida, I repeatedly saw a particular dynamic in people. They moved down from Ohio, Pennsylvania, or wherever. For them, that was their home. Their roots remained “up north.” That’s the community they cared about. Florida was just a place to avoid the winters. It seemed their sense of responsibility, dignity, and integrity was left at the border. But what I really noticed was a loss of their own human decency, their own self-respect, meaning to their life. A lot of people move to Florida in their old age. It’s as if it’s a place they can go to die. What I think a number of them don’t realize is that it is as if the best part of them died the moment they set foot on Florida soil. Needless to say, this certainly isn’t true of all Floridians, but it certainly is a syndrome I saw.
It’s been said that a person needs to live for something greater than themselves. I only agree with that with respect to the small self, the personality self. (Needless to say, there is nothing bigger than the true Self, the Transcendental Self, but that’s not what we are referring to here.) You would do well to ask yourself what it is you live for. What is it that you live true to?
I have spoken in the past of the Cosmic Flow, the Divine Flow of life. I’ve said coming into tune with your own true nature, your dharma, your life’s purpose, is all about living in accord with the Cosmic Flow. You are one with it.
But let’s take a closer look at this. On a day-to-day level, what does that look like? What does it mean to you? For some people, it’s just making money. Other people would say it is their family. I certainly see the truth in that, understand it, and can completely relate to it. However, that is not the extent of it. A person needs to have some purpose, something to achieve, something to commit their life to. Some would say it is their profession. That may or may not be true depending upon the profession chosen.
In my life, my commitment is clear. That commitment is what brought Mount Soma into existence. Though it is understood on so many different levels that it almost becomes meaningless, I feel from my side that my commitment is a commitment to God. God is the Divine Flow, the Cosmic Flow.
You are one with God. To be committed to God is to be committed to the true Self. The true Self is far bigger than the small self, the personality self. In that sense, you have to live your life committed to something greater than the personality self, greater than family, friends, and loved ones. A life without that is a life without roots. It’s a life without true purpose. It saddens me to see how few people know their purpose, or even if they do, how few have all out commitment to it. And people wonder why they are not happy. The truth is you need to know your Self fully enough that the theme of your life is something that on a daily basis you live for, and that if need be, you would be willing to die for.
Few people understand this. They project their priorities and their value systems onto me. I’ve come to realize it is simply because they cannot begin to comprehend what motivates me. What motivates me is the Divine Flow. It is almost as if I have ceased to exist. If by “I”, you mean my personality self, I no longer live for that. I live and breathe the divinity that dwells at the depth of my being, a level of the Self that remains shrouded from the perception of most individuals. My purpose is to assist every individual in removing that shroud. Only commitment to that will bring you the fulfillment you long for.
Do not waiver. Do not compromise. Your true purpose is divine. Your true purpose is not limited to a handful of people or a fistful of dollars. Your true purpose is one with all that is. When you find it, nothing would ever be able to distract you from it. It is then that you will find what it is you long for. Think big.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Saturday, September 7, 2013 | Personal Growth |
Why is it so important to you that you are right? Is your sense of self worth so limited?
It is imperative that you know your greatness extends far beyond simply getting this and that right. The quiet one, voicing no opinion either way, carries the beacon light of wisdom.
The best of who and what you are is a silent witness to all that is.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Thursday, September 5, 2013 | Personal Growth |
With Saturn and Rahu converging on one another this month, conflicts are on the rise. So it is a good time to take a step back, take a breath, and reflect on any conflicts in your life.
Conflict between friends and associates almost always boils down to one thing: fatigue. Situations arise when it just seems to take too much energy, too much effort, to completely explain your position in a sincere, constructive and open manner. As a result, you shoot out half-baked comments or reactions that hurt others. Ironically, to deal with the damage that is done usually requires many multiples of the energy that would have been required to handle it properly in the first place.
In those cases a simple, “Hey, I am sorry this conflict happened. I would very much like us to get past this.” is usually all that it takes to open the door to healing. Yet most often the amount of energy spent to get to that point is, again, multiples of what would have been required to handle the situation properly in the first place.
People usually really do understand more than they are given credit for. Taking the high road with such a simple offering means a great deal, gains the respect of others, and sends a noble message. If they can verbally acknowledge it or not, they will hear it, appreciate it and respect you for it.
Try it out. You long to be great. Such greatness is easier than you may think.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
