by Michael Mamas | Wednesday, January 21, 2015 | Personal Growth, Relationship |
Many factors are involved in most everything… every perspective, every decision, every philosophy, etc. Disagreements arise. Not so much because of the difference in opinion, but rather on how adamant one is regarding his perspective. Usually, if one is willing to reflect, he can see at least some truth in both perspectives.
Conflicts amplify further when one overstates his viewpoint to be sure he has made it. A tug of war results. It may be feared that acknowledging the truth in the other perspective may result in losing the argument. The other perspective is then underrated. Nothing is black and white, but people try to make it all black and white. As it is said, yin creates yang… right creates left… the wheel of life goes round and round.
I recently told someone something I felt would help him… encouraging him to be bolder and move forward with his life. I knew it would stretch his comfort zone. It will be easy for him to take a stand and overstate my words in his mind – to make me wrong – to justify his current worldview. We will see what he does with my words.
Balance is the key.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Monday, January 19, 2015 | Relationship |
Always remember that what underlies anger is hurt. To only allow yourself to feel the anger is to be in denial of the real issue, namely, the hurt. Your reaction to feeling hurt is to get angry.
Allow yourself to feel the hurt. Denial (Don’t Even Know I Am Lying) is unhealthy for your psyche, physiology, and relationships.
View the About Anger Video.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Wednesday, December 24, 2014 | Relationship, Spirituality |
Fulfillment comes not from what is showered upon you, but from what you allow to radiate out from within you. To be happy simply remember to give, give, give from the heart of your Being. Life’s greatest secret, life’s greatest mystery, life’s greatest paradox is that by giving out what lies deep within, you become full. Such giving need not be overt… it need not be acknowledged… it need only be done… Remember that the greatest gift you can give another, the essence of all gifts, is understanding.
Find below some quotes about Christmas that I enjoyed, partly because they were atypical – some were funny, some meaningful, all sweet… For the anecdote to the first quote, reread what was written above.
Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.
Carol Nelson
As long as we know in our hearts what Christmas ought to be, Christmas is.
Eric Sevareid
A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away.
Eva Logue
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.
Oren Arnold
Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.
Kin Hubbard
Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.
Author Unknown
I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.
Bernard Manning
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Thursday, September 11, 2014 | Personal Growth, Relationship, Spirituality |
You exist on many levels. On the most superficial level, you are your physical body. Some would say the physical body has attributes like consciousness, thoughts, emotions, feelings, etc.
On a bit deeper level, you are a personality that is beyond the body. The body is just a vehicle.
Some would define themselves by their work.
Some by their family and relationships.
Some by their thoughts, emotions, and beliefs.
Now you may understand all of this, but that is not enough. Take a moment to reflect and to be honest with yourself. Who are you? How do you define yourself? Do not answer based upon a philosophy that you hold true to. Do not answer based upon what you think you should believe or intellectually know. Answer based upon what you feel. Answer based upon how you live your life. Answer based upon what you feel and experience from within your own life, not based upon what you have been told. On what level of life do you put most of your energy? What level are you invested in? To find the answer, do not just think, but FEEL. Also, look at how you live your life. The term for that is IDENTITY. What level of life are you most identified with?
Now, there are many more levels to you than the ones mentioned so far. Your being exists beyond your thoughts and emotions. Take a moment to feel into that. Who are you? What are you that lies beyond thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and the “story” of your life? What part of you lies beyond all of that?
It is quite normal and healthy for your attention to move from one level to the next. Sometimes your attention is mostly on your body. Sometimes your thoughts, sometimes emotions, sometimes the activity you are engaged in. At each moment, your ‘self’ is related to on a different level. That is fine.
But there is a particular level that you identify with as ‘you’ most of the time and put most of your life force into. What level is that? Do ponder this, but do not think you have to have an exact answer.
The value of the question is in the pondering of it, not in the answering of it.
Now, there is a level beyond all the levels we have discussed so far. It is the Transcendental basis of all the other levels of not only you as an individual, but of all life and all things. Just as the earth is the basis and the essence of all the plants, the one Transcendent is the basis, the essence, of everything. It is who you really are. The eternal you. The you that lies beyond space, time, thoughts, emotions, the story. It is the source of infinite bliss, harmony, intelligence, love, wisdom, and yet it lies beyond all of those things. It is pure Is-ness. It is one with all that is. You sense it inside yourself, though you may speak of it differently.
In the state of enlightenment, that is what you know your self to be. That is what you rest into, like the idle of an automobile. The engine is always running. It is always there. But the awareness naturally rests into that.
It is who you know yourself to be. You can still act with passion on all levels of life. But you are no longer identified with anything. You are in the world, but not of it. This is not an attitude or philosophy or belief. It is a state of consciousness. You simply see the world as it truly is. The deepest mystery of life is simply self evident, obvious. You spontaneously and naturally live your life accordingly.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Thursday, May 15, 2014 | Relationship |
It comes down to understanding. We all share the same one humanity. To forgive is to understand is to find within yourself what motivated the behavior of another. Remember that true Oneness means being one with everything, not just the things you approve of. To be one with everything, means to understand everything. Understanding (not over standing) means standing under… Humility is built right into the word. This may not always be easy to do. Some behavior feels so deplorable that you may not even be willing to consider the possibility of finding such motivations within yourself. In such a case, true forgiveness is not possible.
Some think that to forgive, you must forget. That is not correct. In fact, it is not even a good thing to do. You must not forget. You must remember. It takes time to know another’s heart. This is done by remembering how they behave. It does not mandate judgment. But it does provide information. Do not forgive and forget. Forgive and remember. In so doing, you come to know the person better and better. In so doing, your love for them can grow… can become deeper.
It is hurtful to remember a hurtful situation. Some hope the time will come when it no longer hurts. If you think about it, that makes no sense. It is a form of denial. So remembering does not mean reliving the experience. If you burn your hand a bit under hot running water, you remember to not do that again. That is a good thing. But you do not have to relive through recollection all the pain you experienced. The same sort of remembering is important as you come to know another person. It is of course good to keep the door open for them to grow and become a better person, but it is oblivion to forget the past.
This all applies not only in your relationship with others, but also in your relationship with yourself. It is wise to forgive. It is important to remember.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Wednesday, April 2, 2014 | Favorites, Relationship |
People have many diverse motivations in life. Some strive to make money. Others are devoted to mastering a musical instrument. Some aspire to higher and higher levels of education. Some are dedicated to certain principles, that is to say their beliefs regarding being in the right as much as possible. Still others focus on accomplishing whatever task may be at hand.
But after it is all said and done, there is one thing that brings more fulfillment regarding how you live your life than anything else. That, quite simply, is how other people feel about you. Do they respect you as a person?
The odd thing about all this is that that most fulfilling aspect of your life is very simple to attain… yes indeed, very, very simple. The only problem is that people do not have their attention there. They focus more on motivations such as the ones listed above. That is done at the expense of gaining the respect, love, and good feelings of others. Simply making a habit of keeping your finger on the pulse of how others are feeling about you is the simple yet profound key to it all. And even more amazing is that you do not have to always do it perfectly. Mistakes in this regard are not really a problem. You have only to do your best to correct the mistake and move forward. And the correction need not be a dramatic act. A simple acknowledgement is usually quite enough. That in fact, will gain you more respect than if the mistake was never made in the first place. You may think the acknowledgement is a swallowing of your pride or and undermining of your stature, but in truth, it is exactly the opposite.
I encourage you to just try it. Go ahead and focus on whatever task is at hand, but keep your finger on the pulse of how your actions are compelling people to feel about you as a person and do your best to make that a very positive feeling. You will find that in doing so, whatever the task at hand may be, you will be more successful in the accomplishment of it. At the same time, over and above the accomplishment of the task, you will find greater fulfillment in life.
It is really all so simple. Just do the Surya Ram Meditation as instructed and keep you finger on that pulse of respect. Respecting others is the key to attaining their respect and love, is the key to success in whatever task you may embark upon, and is the key to fulfillment in a life well lived.
One final point: It is not so much about how you behave when everything is wonderful and everybody is getting along that gains the respect of others. It is more about how you behave during conflicts or disagreements. Do you just try to prove your point, make yourself right, or make the other wrong? Do you stonewall any perspective or feeling other than your own? Or are you working with the relationship in a manner that will gain the respect and appreciation of others. Never forget that this is how you gain your own self-respect and appreciation. Never forget that you have not won over a person, just because you have silenced them.
Real conflict resolution, and I mean resolution within your own heart and mind, comes not from winning an argument, but instead it comes from winning the respect of others.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Friday, September 20, 2013 | Personal Growth, Relationship |
Spheres of Influence is a common model regarding relationships. Imagine some concentric circles with you in the center. The inner most sphere of influence would include your spouse or immediate family, and perhaps your closest friends. Furthest out in the circle would be a total stranger. Somewhere in-between, you might find business associates.
You behave differently with people in different spheres of influence. How you behave with your immediate family is very different from how you behave in public. This is a good thing. It’s socially and culturally appropriate. You can, of course, misbehave in any sphere of influence, but that is a different topic. You would do well to observe how you shift as you move from one sphere of influence to another. Behavior in each sphere of influence is an art unto itself.
Relationships can quite appropriately move from one sphere of influence to another. Not only from outer to inner, but also from inner to outer. People often have a hard time with that, particularly when it involves moving from inner to outer. It is important to keep in mind that such moves do not necessarily imply a loss of friendship, caring, or commitment. It is more a matter of respect for the ever-evolving and changing times. For example, a relationship may for some reason become strained. Striving to maintain the current sphere of influence in those circumstances could create additional strain in the relationship. It can be most respectful and honoring to, at those times, smoothly shift that relationship to an outer sphere, if for no other reason than to give the relationship time to heal. Changing the sphere of influence can significantly change the nature and tone of the relationship.
I’ve noticed with respect to my own daughters, that as they grow up, the relationship shifts. That could be viewed as a shift from the inner sphere of the relationship. As they get older, they need and deserve more autonomy. It is fascinating how spontaneously that occurs. It’s clearly innate. To hold it properly is an art and a beautiful thing. The term respect comes to mind.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Thursday, September 6, 2012 | Relationship |
I was asked about the concept of Indigo Child to which I respond:
Every individual, at the depth of their being, is Divine. There are no exceptions. Parents see that in their children. As my brother-in-law once put it… “a little slice of Heaven”. In other words, every parent sees their child as an Indigo Child… special. The beauty of life is that everyone, in that regard, is special… One with God. The question becomes: “How fully is that Divinity made manifest on the surface of life?”
As the enlightened age emerges, there is no question that more and more evolved beings will incarnate. However, the popularity of the concept of Indigo Child among New Agers is more a parental justification that their child is ‘special’ rather than the result of that movement toward the enlightened age.
Those drawn to the Indigo Child concept tend to be spiritually oriented New Agers. As a result, they tend to have a great deal of the indigo color in their aura and pass that along to their children. Therefore, those children do have more indigo in their presence. But the belief that makes them special is rooted more in a parental longing than a matter of fact.
All children are special. A parent need not worry about that. Yet the parental role should be more about supporting the child to bring that forth through commitment and character cultivation rather than attempting to rest upon the laurels of a metaphysical concept. The parental longing is a beautiful thing. My desire is not to make anyone wrong, but to inspire all to work with that longing in the most constructive manner.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Wednesday, May 9, 2012 | Personal Growth, Relationship |
This is an interesting Einstein quote. Does it indicate a certain lack of integration with life? Or is it a profound statement of his understanding of the nature of relative existence?
“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects”. – Albert Einstein
Though we may hurt and disappoint one and other from time to time, life is still all about people… personified beings.
Life is rooted in perfection. Every individual is rooted in perfect. Yet like a tree rooted in the stability of Mother Earth, the branches dance with the winds of karma.
Integration means harmony of the depth with the surface. Love people. Do not be confused by the winds of karma. And do not be oblivious to them.
Human evolution means the integration of life.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
by Michael Mamas | Sunday, October 30, 2011 | Relationship, World View
If you have been having a bit of a hard time lately, please hang in there just a bit longer!
Sun and Mars are in their signs of debilitation (they stay in a sign for about a month or so). Saturn will continue to be vargottama in Virgo until mid-November.
Moon has been debilitated and conjunct Rahu for a couple days and will be for another day. Mars is about to go out of debilitation. Sun has a couple more weeks to go.
If things have been difficult for you lately, as I have seen for a number of people, a Winston Churchill quote might apply:
Politics is almost as exciting as war and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics – many times.
This is true not only of politics but also of life in general, and certainly in matters of the heart.
As a spiritual teacher, I pour my heart out. I lead with my heart. It affects me deeply when people are not doing well.
Yet there is only so much I can do. And sometimes, as I have said before, the best gift you can give someone is to just give time and space. As I write this, I can think of a number of different people who likely think I am writing it just to them… and I guess they are each right. Hang in there.
© Michael Mamas. All rights reserved.
